How Friends & Family Shape Habits

2 min readMay 30, 2024


Photo by Jed Villejo on Unsplash

The secret to self-control

When it comes to self-control and habits, self-control is only helpful when you are trying to resist temptation than overcome it.

The best thing to do when you want to stop a habit is to move away from it completely.

Try not to have anything around you that could trigger your engagement in that habit.

You’re better off avoiding the triggers than thinking you will have self-control to resist such habits.

Self-control is good, it can help but it’s not always sufficient. It’s not always your best bet when you want to overcome dangerous habits.

How to make habits irresistible

Temptation bundling can be used when there is a habit you need to form but it’s not a habit you would easily do.

If there’s also something that you want or you like to do, what you need is to make this a reward for performing the challenging habit.

The idea behind this is how our brain works in the presence of dopamine, which is responsible for cravings.

When people crave things, it is sure that they are going to act or respond or do something.

Dopamine also rises when you know that you will get a reward at the end of an action. It leads to motivation.

Temptation bundling is about doing habits that would help you achieve your cravings.

How people shape your habit

When you are close to some people, you’ll start to imbibe their habits and act like they’re acting

When you’re trying to form a new habit but you find a group of people who are like you and who are already good in that habit, join them.

In a short time, you will begin to exhibit that habit as well.

People tend to follow superstars, celebrities, and authority figures. This plays out in buying decisions and in online reviews.

There’s also a crowd mentality where you are influenced to do what every other person is doing.


People have influence on our habits: the people we are close to, the people we engage with every now and then, and the people we look up to, all influence how we form habits.

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